Thoughts: Elijah Underneath The Juniper Tree

~ 1 Kings 19:1-9

I have been thinking about Elijah’s story. Elijah has been one of my favourite prophets because of his accomplishments. The most exciting story about Elijah is his showdown with the prophets of a false god which in result God in heaven was glorified through Elijah (Elijah won). I’ve been reading many accomplishments in the Bible but I haven’t really notice the period of depression some have gone through (Except for the life of Job, I’ve read his story a million times) because I realise that sometimes I have always viewed prophets, apostles, or biblical people as unstoppable, fearless, courageous, bold, or sometimes perfect – I think that’s the problem with just seeing what my eyes think is positive, it conceals the mind from hard truths which can be positive in a way. With hardships I face everyday, this is one of the most eye opening stories I’ve encountered and it actually made my faith more mature than ever.

In the story, Elijah flees and ran away from wicked people to save his life. As he left, he soon had a journey in the wilderness. He went through a broom bush (juniper tree) and he sat down underneath it and prayed to God to take his life away and he fell asleep. Then an angel said to Elijah to get up and eat because the journey is too much for him. Then food was provided for Elijah; and he ate and drank and lay down again. For the second time the angel came back and told Elijah to get up and eat for the journey is too much for him. Once Elijah was strengthened, he recovered and went on to his journey again.

The story is simple, but I know there’s a reason why I stumbled upon his story. I learned that time, company, honesty with oneself can really help me, you, and people recover. I also learned that a journey can be really too much and people can be really limited. It took some time for Elijah to actually get better. There are also some factors why his sadness was magnified and maybe it’s because of hunger, exhaustion, fears, and pressures of his mission. Another thing, I really liked that this story is in the Bible and it really did highlight how God will always accompany us when the journey is too much.

If you find yourself sitting underneath the tree, it’s okay to rest – cry, sleep, lay down, or even pray. It’s time to be honest with oneself and with God. Destroy the idea that crying out is negative or bad. Crying gives relief and releases emotions that cleanses are minds and soul. End the thinking that crying must be stopped. Remember that people are limited; remember that Elijah did find himself sitting underneath the tree too; But, never forget to remember that God accompanied him and strengthened him.



Rest forever, The End

Trying to reflect,
I looked at myself
I see struggle
I see pain
I just can’t help
but notice darkness
So I remain silent
I want to share
all my secrets
It is twisted
It is from hell
So i just accepted
that the attempt
to share
Won’t just happen
So I observe
So I wait
Pain’s bigger
Struggle’s harder
Im now in chains
I’ve fallen
into the deepest
part of well
I want help
What is sane?
What is the answer?
In my death
would I be replaced?
I guess
I just need rest
to rest forever
the end
I am now
seeing silhouette
and sunset
is this heaven?
Watching the end
of skies and water
I just want to stay
Experience a moment
where darkness
just faded
out of nowhere
Rest forever,
The end

~ M. Salonga

Sinking deep

I am sinking I may have lost my way
My tears have turned into a lake
I am just holding my own breath
I own a mind that tricks and plays
Wondering if when will the race end
I truly have nobody but myself
since people i love are oceans away
I have seen a lot of change
like the seasons, weather, and days
I have also seen things the same
like the red will stay red
Looking at it might seem nonsense
However there’s something in a way
that i could totally relate
My eyes are beginning to water again
lost in my existence I would say
If my love ones are present
they would just snatch me away
and they’ll make sure I’m safe
I might be just over my head
I find it difficult to explain
But I can only express myself
I said I’d make my life better I swear
But here I am all over again
I am sinking deep, I only blame myself
I have chosen my life to go this way
I thought I have found an escape
turned out to be a way for me to hell
I need somebody with saving grace
favour my life with indulgence
For I am sinking deep, I only blame myself

~ M. Salonga

Tears Have Gone By

As the time runs by every night
my tears have already gone by
when the morning comes
and the sun starts to rise
you’ll then see my bright smile

If you understand my heart
I’m an expert in faking smiles
I’m sad most of the time
I’ve been brought down a million times
I’ll always stay fine but tired

Tap my own shoulder say it’s alright
but it is never alright
What an unforgiving life!
Little by little I’m going mad
I just hope to make it out alive

I would love to keep in touch
Maybe someone would listen to my mind
End up all together in the night
Together, we’ll cry out loud
And choose how we would all die

Here I am lying down
Shutting my eyes and heart
Listening to the lies of my mind
Having this mind I would drown
Anyway I just try to die

As the time runs by every night
my tears have already gone by
when the morning comes
and the sun starts to rise
you’ll then see my bright smile

If you understand my heart
I’m an expert in faking smiles
I’m sad most of the time
I’ve been brought down a million times
I’ll always stay fine but tired

~ M. Salonga

Beautiful Dream

I just want to fast track everything
where everything is a beautiful dream
I want to see myself flying free
and stop myself from asking and thinking
when will misery stop chasing me?
what if I start singing, dancing, or painting?
would my life be better off with these
I would love to end the following years
that does not look good for me
fast tracking everything where hardships
would probably not be haunting me
Too bad I can only see it by imagining it
I guess I could be more positive and believe
I could probably foresee the possibilities
The problem is wanting it immediately
Welcome to the frustrations of being me
so much to expect and believe
To die is gain indeed but so is living free
Here I am again, contemplating and reflecting
but that just how it is, so I say so be it
Just let life to keep on shaping me & molding me
into something precious like the amethyst
I just simply want to reach and achieve
that desire I have in me: beautiful dream

~ M. Salonga

Movie: The Discovery 2017 (Review)

Rating this movie: 8/10

Warning: Mini spoilers

Recommended to: People who like sci-fi films, weird, intellectual, and boring movies.

  • Great concept
  • Underrated
  • Mind Blowing
  • Sad

This movie was starred Robert Redford known as Thomas, who is a scientist and a father who discovered and proved the existence of the afterlife and has caused millions of suicide due to his great discovery. His son, which is played by Jason Segel known as Will, is not entirely convinced with the discovery because he believes that proof should be absolute and established. The film was also starred by Rooney Mara known as Isla, she was one of the people who contemplates suicides due to the overwhelming proof of the discovery and wants to find an escape in life but was found and saved by Will on attempt to suicide and from there the journey goes on.

The movie has a great idea and concept. The statement that made me watch this film is “The proof of an afterlife exists”. Most people think of heaven and earth but this one is different. I wanted to see it so bad! It was such a great concept I just yearned for it! – That’s how excited I am about the movie. When I finished watching it, It totally blew my mind away but after a few hours I kind of just ended up saying “Meh, okay, thats great, hmm not so great”; But then, after a day I watched the film again and appreciated the film and realised that I was the problem because I expected so much of the film. So I would still say that it is a good movie and better than other sci-fi films.

The points why I liked this movie was probably the build-up in the first scene wherein something shocking happened (trying not to spoil so much). I also like contemplating about life and death because it is such a curious thing to think of and have been always fascinated on that topic. The drama is somewhat realistic or at least the filmmakers are trying to make the film still believable. The actors and actresses did well especially Rooney Mara and Robert Redford. Watching the film gave me more empathy for Rooney Mara’s character and I just wanted to punch Robert Redford due to his heartless character in the film. I also think that what I mostly liked about this film is, it made me think and I think the cinematic drama effect helped a lot with the film.

The points why I felt like the movie was “Meh, not so great”. Some parts of the film reminded me of Flatliners and when you watch it you’ll know why, it made me realise that maybe the film wasn’t as orginal as it might seem. Uhm, Jason Segel’s performance was just honestly boring – quite a sleeper. The end was somehow sentimental and quite sugary due to the romance between Rooney Mara and Jason Segel but justifies the concept i guess.

To wrap up everything – it is still worth the watch for such a great concept and still better than other sci-fi movies.

I Am Going To Be Okay

I am going to be okay I say

My heart will beat over again

I can keep it together with all my best

Even when I think of running away

I’ve made mistakes like push people away

But I know some still loves me anyway

Like my father who is in heaven

Like my lover and my true friends

Although I am far away from them

I do cry at night to myself

I can’t help but think of an embrace

An embrace that can express

Expressions of gentleness, kindness

concern, and indulgence

It is not easy to be myself to fight myself

should I still keep my interests be existent?

or should I terminate my own existence?

they say it’s a blessing to have a brain

but being a thinker? it just drains me to death

Oh my dearest self, I tell myself

You’re going to be okay

Your heart will beat all over again

because you are a fighter

there’s still a lot to learn and face

a lot to experience, a lot to expect

a lot to appreciate and acknowledge

Just always remember to refresh

Continue to participate and be aware

and discover that kismet can also be kept

as long as love remains forever

~ M. Salonga