AUSTRALIA – As I was re-reading my devotional journal, I have come across a beautiful reflection that I have written which I think should be shared because the love of Jesus is wide and open for everyone. The word came from Psalm 89:30-34:
30If his (Jesus) children (Children of God) forsake my law
and do not walk according to my rules,
31 if they violate my statutes
and do not keep my commandments,
32 then I will punish their transgression with the rod
and their iniquity with stripes,
33 but I will not remove from him my steadfast love
or be false to my faithfulness.
34 I will not violate my covenant
or alter the word that went forth from my lips.
This message is for the children of God who have fallen deeply. This Psalms shows that even when the elects have fallen deeply – Jesus took deeper and even more painful strikes from the rod. Jesus took the punishment even more. I know that Jesus’ crucifixion has happened years ago but His blood that was shed, and in him, in Jesus, has the power to forgive and give us a new life.
Many years ago, I, myself, have fallen deeply even though I call myself a “Christian”, I am definitely aware of what Jesus Christ did on the cross but I have forgotten the intensity and the weight of why He had to bear the punishment to save me intentionally. I realise that I was like the prodigal son but in this case “a prodigal daughter”.
During my downfall, I listened to myself; I choose to follow what my heart says because the only thing every person, just like me, wants is to be happy. I choose to be my own god because of the thinking that I own my own. Honestly, there were days that I was happy and there were days that I was empty. Until I have experienced the most excruciating pain of following my own heart which I am not proud of to share. But during my downfall, deep inside my consciousness, I was crying and regretting my failures. There were days that I asked God – “God, save me from this mess I have created”, I even asked God – “God, discipline me once again, I know it’s going to be painful but if it will save me so be it”.
Later on, during the process, He did save me and I have been given the understanding. However, the process was difficult – the days were slower and excruciating but I kept on obeying Him. He gave me this word:
6 He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, do you wash my feet?” 7 Jesus answered him, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.” 8 Peter said to him, “You shall never wash my feet.” Jesus answered him, “If I do not wash you, you have no share with me.” – John 13:6-8
During the process, while I was waiting, Jesus is washing me, Jesus took the deeper and painful strikes from the rod. I didn’t understand at first, but now I do. Washing takes time and pruning takes time. While I was enslaved by the desires of my heart, He was there all along, God was and is faithful and steadfast, He didn’t forget the covenant. While I was in sin, The word of God is a seed that has been planted inside me; I withered but God pruned the deadly weeds that is killing me.
20 Now the law came in to increase the trespass, but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more, – Romans 5:20
13If we are faithless, he remains faithful – for he cannot deny himself – 2 Timothy 2:13
However, the saving did not come to me like magic. The saving was there all along I was just blind to the snares and desires of my heart. The saving came WHEN I REALISE how limited I am, how weak I am, how I am in need of a God, I have laid down my pride and called upon God and was humbled. My eyes and heart were open. I repented. I was convinced that I am but a mere flesh and apart from God, I am nothing. I am convinced that without God, I will always fail; I’ll hate myself; my life would be full of drama; I’ll never have the peace that I have now.
29 But from there you will seek the Lord your God and you will find him, if you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul. 30 When you are in tribulation, and all these things come upon you in the latter days, you will return to the Lord your God and obey his voice. 31 For the Lord your God is a merciful God. He will not leave you or destroy you or forget the covenant with your fathers that he swore to them. – Deuteronomy 4:29-31
I have posted this blog for people who truly believe in God yet are having a hard time in this world. I, too, have been in your place. Here I am sharing you a full assurance of hope. JESUS TOOK THE DEEPER AND EVEN MORE PAINFUL STRIKES FROM THE ROD. Lay it ALL down to God – REPENT, Pray, Wait, Listen, and Obey.
7 and if he rescued righteous Lot, greatly distressed by the sensual conduct of the wicked 8 (for as that righteous man lived among them day after day, he was tormenting his righteous soul over their lawless deeds that he saw and heard);9 then the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from trials, and to keep the unrighteous under punishment until the day of judgment, – 2 Peter 2:7-9