Write My Cries

I cried one at night

I cried waking up

Praying loud to God

To help me stand up

or just end my life

All i see is black

For there is no love

I could think of mom

my last straw to life

but were miles apart

Alone in the dark

with my thoughts & mind

so i write it up

my way to survive

I am a Christian

might be in the light

but my sight is blind

or mind filled with clouds

Keep moving forward

says my little heart

Just please write it up

a way to survive

says my little heart

~ M. S

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Words Unspoken

Have you ever wanted to speak your mind?

but you ended up staring in the sky

and lose oneself because words are not found

I could totally understand and relate in some ways

there must be some reason God erased the thoughts in our head

Im hoping God also erased the feelings of depressed

If I look closely and act as a judge

The person who is at fault is just me

The person who is truly blind is me

Every night I fell asleep at 3am

I just try to write my feelings on my bed

black, white, smileys, chocolate, doodles, scribbles

It is a never ending cycle everyday

breakfast, lunch, dinner and it would still be the same

So I just try to write my feelings on my bed

black, smileys, doodles, scribbles, and words unspoken

We Dance

You offered me your hand to dance
I can’t help but look at your beautiful smile
I gave you my hand and we dance
We dance all night, all the time
I could only see us and the time don’t mind
We locked eyes, just us
We moved slow sweet with elegance
You spin me round and round
I couldn’t help but smile
This dance made me feel a fleeting love
Beautiful, wonderful, but fleeting love
I thought I could stay forever in your arms
The song will end and I hope you play a new one

Rest forever, The End

Trying to reflect,
I looked at myself
I see struggle
I see pain
I just can’t help
but notice darkness
So I remain silent
I want to share
all my secrets
It is twisted
It is from hell
So i just accepted
that the attempt
to share
Won’t just happen
So I observe
So I wait
Pain’s bigger
Struggle’s harder
Im now in chains
I’ve fallen
into the deepest
part of well
I want help
What is sane?
What is the answer?
In my death
would I be replaced?
I guess
I just need rest
to rest forever
the end
I am now
seeing silhouette
and sunset
is this heaven?
Watching the end
of skies and water
I just want to stay
Experience a moment
where darkness
just faded
out of nowhere
Rest forever,
The end

~ M. Salonga

Sinking deep

I am sinking I may have lost my way
My tears have turned into a lake
I am just holding my own breath
I own a mind that tricks and plays
Wondering if when will the race end
I truly have nobody but myself
since people i love are oceans away
I have seen a lot of change
like the seasons, weather, and days
I have also seen things the same
like the red will stay red
Looking at it might seem nonsense
However there’s something in a way
that i could totally relate
My eyes are beginning to water again
lost in my existence I would say
If my love ones are present
they would just snatch me away
and they’ll make sure I’m safe
I might be just over my head
I find it difficult to explain
But I can only express myself
I said I’d make my life better I swear
But here I am all over again
I am sinking deep, I only blame myself
I have chosen my life to go this way
I thought I have found an escape
turned out to be a way for me to hell
I need somebody with saving grace
favour my life with indulgence
For I am sinking deep, I only blame myself

~ M. Salonga

Beautiful Dream

I just want to fast track everything
where everything is a beautiful dream
I want to see myself flying free
and stop myself from asking and thinking
when will misery stop chasing me?
what if I start singing, dancing, or painting?
would my life be better off with these
I would love to end the following years
that does not look good for me
fast tracking everything where hardships
would probably not be haunting me
Too bad I can only see it by imagining it
I guess I could be more positive and believe
I could probably foresee the possibilities
The problem is wanting it immediately
Welcome to the frustrations of being me
so much to expect and believe
To die is gain indeed but so is living free
Here I am again, contemplating and reflecting
but that just how it is, so I say so be it
Just let life to keep on shaping me & molding me
into something precious like the amethyst
I just simply want to reach and achieve
that desire I have in me: beautiful dream

~ M. Salonga

I Am Going To Be Okay

I am going to be okay I say

My heart will beat over again

I can keep it together with all my best

Even when I think of running away

I’ve made mistakes like push people away

But I know some still loves me anyway

Like my father who is in heaven

Like my lover and my true friends

Although I am far away from them

I do cry at night to myself

I can’t help but think of an embrace

An embrace that can express

Expressions of gentleness, kindness

concern, and indulgence

It is not easy to be myself to fight myself

should I still keep my interests be existent?

or should I terminate my own existence?

they say it’s a blessing to have a brain

but being a thinker? it just drains me to death

Oh my dearest self, I tell myself

You’re going to be okay

Your heart will beat all over again

because you are a fighter

there’s still a lot to learn and face

a lot to experience, a lot to expect

a lot to appreciate and acknowledge

Just always remember to refresh

Continue to participate and be aware

and discover that kismet can also be kept

as long as love remains forever

~ M. Salonga